There are some nights when I lie awake & watch you sleep. I think to myself as I’m looking at you that I could love you. But tonight being with you, I feel like I don’t even know you. I feel no connection, no excitement. I feel bad that you do nice things for me & all I want to do is cry bc I don’t deserve them. I don’t reciprocate what you do because I don’t see myself falling in love with you, Michael. I can’t imagine a future together after this year; me graduating on time, you another year/semester here.
I feel so trapped & alone with you. None of your friends go out to party, you don’t socialize. I feel like you think lowly of women by the comments you make. Of course you don’t disrespect me but calling all women irrational & dating a woman seems stupid of you because of your opinion on us.
I just miss Austin. I think about him everyday. I see him everywhere. I remember every moment with him. With you Michael all I keep seeing is what happened freshman year even though you have proved to me since time & time again that you’ve changed. I’m so bored with you. We’re so young & it feels like we’ve aged just dating each other bc we’re so boring together.
Cooking me food & buying me ice cream is great. But I want flowers, cute notes, for you to want to walk with god with me, not every second be about sex. I am not a slave to your desires. There are more to relationships than that. Call me old fashioned but sex is supposed to mean something & be beautiful & for marriage. It should never feel like a chore or a way to show my appreciation towards you.
Freshman year we didn’t work out for a reason. This is why we probably shouldn’t have started this again.
- Unknown (via bl-ossomed)